Abigail

I do not always remember

who you were before

you became

“My friend who killed herself”

But sometimes I have a thought

I almost say out loud

until my tongue gets caught

for you’re the only one who’d understand it.

“Ah, she was a real entire person after all!”

Suddenly I remember!

But to all the people who now fill my days,

you’re just a story

that ends so tragically.

How can I reconcile

“my friend who killed herself”

with Abigail

who loved books and the sea,

beautiful men,

and me